no idea who the author is, but it sure inspired me..the whole things plagarized of course, except the paragraph in pink, at the bottom, that was my own work:
DON'T MESS WITH MOM
My son came home from school one day, with a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough, to put me in my place.
"Guess what I learned in Civics Two, that's taught by Mr. Wright?
It's all about the laws today, The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'
It says I need not clean my room, don't have to cut my hair
No one can tell me what to think, or speak, or what to wear.
I have freedom from religion, and regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head, and I sure don't have to pray.
I can wear earrings if I want, and pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like, get tattoos from head to toe.
And if you ever spank me, I'll charge you with a crime.
I'll back up all my charges, with the marks on my behind.
Don't you ever touch me, my body's only for my use,
not for your hugs and kisses, that's just more child abuse.
Don't preach about your morals, like your Mama did to you.
That's nothing more than mind control, And it's illegal too!
Mom, I have these children's rights, so you can't influence me,
or I'll call Children's Services Division, better known as "C.S.D."
Mom's Reply and Thoughts
Of course my first instinct was to toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson made me think a little more.
I mulled it over carefully, I couldn't let this go.
A smile crept upon my face, he's messing with a pro.
Next day I took him shopping at the local Goodwill Store..
I told him, "Pick out all you want, there's shirts & pants galore.
I've called and checked with C.S.D . who said they didn't care
if I bought you K-Mart shoes instead of Nike Airs.
I've canceled that appointment to take your driver's test.
The C.S.D. is unconcerned so I'll decide what's best."
I said "No time to stop and eat, or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn to make your own sack lunch.
Just save the raging appetite, and wait till dinner time.
We're having liver and onions, a favorite dish of mine."
He asked "Can I please rent a movie, to watch on my VCR?"
"Sorry, but I sold your TV, for new tires on my car.
I also rented out your room, you'll take the couch instead.
The C.S.D. requires just a roof over your head.
Your clothing won't be trendy now, I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get, will buy me something neat.
I'm selling off your jet ski, dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights', It's in effect today!
Hey hot shot, are you crying, Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out, instead of C.S.D..?"
And when C.S.D came knocking, to tell us what they pleased
We rallied out the war cry and had them on their knees.
So put away your gargoyles, and tidy up your room
Your gonna learn the difference 'tween them and us real soon.
Better grab a bible son, let that holy alter go
It's off to the born again christian camp, just so you know.
Cuz guess just what the said, as they knocked upon the door.
"You let your kids do way to much, hurry mop that floor.
"Take away their video games, and learn to toughen up,
We've heard a nasty rumor, you love your kids to much.
"We fear you may be Witches! Oh Dear! But cannot tell the courts
Perhaps he killed his daughter, yes, a much better report"
Cuz the laws ain't all they're crack'd up to be, get it through your head
The world was never very fair, just like I always said!
There's an awful lotta hungry sharks, in that open sea.
Waiting for a bite of Freedom Fighting you and me.
Battin down the hatches kid, zip it with your 'tude.
Remeber life's experience before getting rude.
Cuz Mom's are mean and that's the truth, Will be forever more
Thank God for your mom when they kidnapped you, from the front door.
And thank god for you mom, every time you hurt, bleed, or cry
Thank the Gods you have your mom, now clean up that pig sty!
Yes there's rules that suck my love, and morals better lost
But theres also such a thing, as Respect, Love and Trust!
Be careful what you wish for son, they really do come true!
Your power to Manifest, sometimes gets the best of you!
Keep your nose and records clean if you want to plead your case,
And fight for Rights all your life boy, never let that waste!
Be true to you, and all you are, for now and ever more,
Thank God these things your Mommy taught, before you slam that door!